


Beyond the Sea

by ThursdayNight95



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Character Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Suicide, will add more as i think about it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 07:01:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15309972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThursdayNight95/pseuds/ThursdayNight95
Summary: Warren, the ex-Raider is met with harsh reality. And the loved ones he's left behind experience it even harder.





	1. warning

“So, heard you tried to start a new life.”

Tar. One of the sleaziest, ruthless bastards he’d ever had the misfortune of running with for a few weeks.

Warren looked up from his drink and furrowed his brow.

“Yeah? From who.” he muttered. “Everyone I used to know’s dead. Or in Pickman’s fucked up art display.”

“A couple of my people keep seeing you run into this settlement near Vault 111. You were always the type to sneak under people’s noses and wreck their shit. You doing that?”

“Yeah.” Warren lied.

Tar’s eyes burned into him.

Warren’s chest was tight. It was like all of the sudden he couldn’t breathe. He knew Tar himself could take out at least ten people. And if he brought in a gang of higher ranking raiders… The town would be slaughtered.

His palms were sweaty. He could barely pick the bottle back up.

“Are you lying to me?”

“It’s my fucking territory.” Warren growled. “You fuck with them and you fuck with me. Got it? If you fuck anything up, you’d be fucking over the market.”

“You got a market and everything? Well. I’m impressed. Wanna let me and my boys have some fun in there?”

“And what, make them revolt and lose all my traders?” he had no idea what he was talking about, but prayed it would keep Tar out. “I’ve got them armed to the teeth.”

“Well. We’ll see about that once my little group comes back.” Tar chuckled. “If they’re as well-armed as you said, then it shouldn’t be a problem, huh?”

“What? You sent guys over there?”

“Last night. Should be there right now. Told them to deliver a little message, too.”


	2. betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sanctuary falls apart

Screaming.

Gunshots.

Explosions.

Blood and gore stained the ground. People. Dead.

Buildings, worked so hard on for years.

Destroyed.

Crops ruined, people taken.

The poor guards were doing their damndest.

The turrets were being shot. The screaming was too loud.

“Delivery from Warren.” is what they said.

His home. His happiness.

Everyone’s sanctuary. Was being blown to bits.

Preston was shouting at others to evacuate.

The Minutemen would stay and fight.

More explosions. Hearing was muffled.

It was Quincy. All over again.

He couldn’t stand. His legs were broken. He couldn’t run. He just wanted to know why. Why spend years here? Why build up so much, only to destroy it?

Once a raider always a raider, he guessed. And this time it was his fault for getting involved.

+

He woke up numb. People were being led out to… Well, no one knew. Just shelter.

They lost twelve men.

One of them was Jun.

The other 11 were settlers. Hard workers.

Ones who smiled and laughed.

But they’d snickered and grinned at Warren, hadn’t they? Sanctuary had done him wrong. Sanctuary was never his home.

Everything was gone.

“The General’s out looking for him.” Preston said to a recovering Minuteman. “Let’s just hope he comes back in one piece. The General, that is.”

Sturges felt them sticking him with stimpacks, then offered him water.

He didn’t want any, but he’d get dehydrated without it.

Preston seemed hesitant to come up to him. But he did, with quiet, careful steps. Gentle words.

“Sturges…”

Sturges didn’t say anything. He couldn’t even think. Preston was worried that he wasn’t even there.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” Preston managed, swallowing hard. “We managed to get mostly everybody out…”

“Jun’s gone.” Sturges said quietly. “Everything… Everything’s gone…”

“We can build it back up again. We’ve done it plenty of times.” Preston said firmly. “The General is still on our side.”

Sturges kept looking at the ground. Running his hands through his hair. Trying so hard to keep it together, but everything was just… happening.


	3. confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nate confronts warren

He’d been running for hours. Fuck, why’d he wander out so fucking far? He managed to outrun the super mutants, dodge mines and grenades, and even whizz past some mirelurks. His entire body was running on cold fear. He had to save them. He needed to, he didn’t care if he died for it.

Concord!

His boots stomped in the wet pavement and puddles. He was certainly gonna throw up. His entire body was screaming at him to stop.

But he was so close. As long as he could at least tell the guards. If he was lucky, Nate would be there too.

He made it near the Red Rocket when he heard his name.

Oh shit, Nate!

“Nate! Nate, you gotta help Sanc–”

He was tackled to the ground and had his mask ripped off of him. Lost a tooth, too.

“What. The fuck. Was THAT?!” Nate’s voice erupted like thunder. “I thought we were FRIENDS!”

Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

“You fucker! I fucking trusted you! Sturges trusted you! You’re such a fucking piece of garbage!”

Warren managed to catch Nate’s fist before it slammed into his face. It was hard to get a grip on in this rain. The darkness made it hard to see, but the anger and pain in Nate’s eyes was burning bright.

“I didn’t do that!” Warren shouted. “They got here? They’re here?”

“Don’t fucking play dumb with me, you piece of shit!!” he grabbed the collar of Warren’s jacket and slammed him against the wall.

Warren could smell the destruction. His entire body was numb.

He failed them.

“Is… Is…”

“Is what?” Nate spat, pulling out a shotgun.

He couldn’t breathe.

“I didn’t do it! I swear! I came here to warn you guys, Tar sent his fucking monkeys out here, I, I… I… Oh god…” he started to weep.

Nate let out a frustrated growl.

“Tell. Me. What. Happened. Those fuckers said it was a delivery from you, then fucking killed our men and destroyed the only fucking place these people could call home.”

“It wasn’t. It wasn’t. I promise you, I swear… Please… Please just tell me Sturges is okay.”

“I don’t fucking know! They blew so many fucking people apart! Explain, right the fuck now, Warren, before I blow * _you_ * apart!”

Warren didn’t mind the barrel pressed against his chest.

“I used to work for Tar… I ran with ‘im for a few weeks, then ran off. A few years back. Guess he got even stronger… He’d been watching me, or found me or something. They’d see me come into Sanctuary. And they wanted it, I guess…” his breathing was heavy. “I lied… This was just last night… He asked if I was running the place. I said yes, and not to fuck with it because it’ll fuck up the markets. And it’s armed to the teeth. He said he hoped so because he sent a group out there.” he was tired. “Tar’s got big groups. They like power armor. I… I guess he… Fuck… Just pull the trigger, Nate. Just fucking kill me.”

“Are you telling me the truth, Warren?” Nate demanded, finger lightly on the trigger.

“Yes. I promised you and Sturges I’d use my knowledge to help. And… I-I hated a lot of people in Sanctuary. But I never wanted them dead. Ever.” He wiped his eyes. His throat hurt. His chest hurt.

“Why did they say it was from you?”

“Because they’re fucking assholes and knew I spent time there.” Warren swallowed hard. “If… If Sturges is – is… If he’s… gone…” his voice cracked and his breath was shaking. “just shoot me.”

Nate got off of Warren and gave him back his mask, his own fingers trembling. He was falling apart.

“Is he fucking dead?”

“I don’t know. He looked conscious when I left. Fuck! We were fucking fixing the walls and I was building more fucking turrets!!” he shouted. “They destroyed everything! It’s like the fucking bombs fell all over again!”

“I’m so sorry, Nate.” Warren’s voice shook. The rain water was so cold. “I knew I should’ve just stayed gone. It’s… I… I can’t even process this.”

“I’m sorry for pulling a gun on you.”

“I deserve it.”

“You didn’t.”

“I do. I’m leaving you guys alone… Or what’s left. And I’m never coming back.” Warren chuckled. “Ever. If Sturges is alive, tell him I love him. And that I’m sorry for everything. And when you meet 'im up in Heaven, tell him the same thing. Lord knows I won’t be able to.”

“Don’t be that way. We need you.”

“It’ll happen again as long as Tar and his goons are alive, I guess.” he sighed. “Or probably until I’m dead. Dunno. I just… Care about you guys. I knew it was a risk. Getting involved. Leaving the raiders. Now even more people are dead because of me.”

Nate swallowed hard.

“If you know what’s good for you, for your people, you’d leave me. You’d never let me in to one of your settlements. I’m quitting the Minutemen.”

“Where will I be able to find you once things calm down?” Nate asked softly.

“Either you’re really fucking stupid, or those raiders gave you one blow to the head too many.” Warren scoffed. “I’m leaving. I don’t know where. Odds are I’ll put some weights on my feet and drop off into the ocean.” the smile and jokey attitude was gone. “So maybe take a dive around the docks. Or, fuck, I dunno. Maybe some mirelurks’ll have me for dinner.”

“Please come with me, Warren.”

“I got your people killed. You’re fucking retarded. Now fuck off.”


	4. lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sturges is in pain

He was awake. Moving around. But he wasn’t there.

Marcy was screaming, crying. Why, why, why?

Everything they had.

It was his fault.

Getting chummy.

Following him like a puppy.

Everyone warned him. Mama Murphy warned him he’d get hurt. Now he got everyone hurt.

Jun. Jun was gone.

Sanctuary was gone. As ruined as the day they’d found it.

So many happy memories.

Warren had not only played Sturges like a fool, but Nate, too.

Sturges’ chest was so tight.

This was all his fault.

+

“You need to eat.” one of the doctors said softly.

He wasn’t hungry.

Word was, Nate was coming back. How was he feeling? Did he kill Warren? He should be happy at that. The fucking traitor getting what he deserved. But he just couldn’t find it in him to get any emotion at all.

He couldn’t keep the little food he ate down either.

##

“How is everyone?”

“We lost a few last night.” the doctor said sadly.

Nate sighed deeply. He helped dig three new holes. Made three new grave markers. Lizzy the chef. Sean the gunsmith. Harold the Farmer.

Sturges was watching, but he wasn’t processing. All he knew was Nate was back.

But Nate did come up to him after he was finished helping. Building mobile security, fixing better guns, better explosives.

“Sturges…”

Sturges looked at him. Nate looked pained.

“I told Preston and the Minutemen. But you need to know this.” he pulled out some tape. had a note and a nuka cherry lid on it.

He didn’t know what to do with this. He was close to passing out.

“Warren didn’t do this. Some raider group led by some asshole named Tar did. Oh shit, take it easy. Sit down.” Nate helped him sit down against the wall. “It’s okay.”

Nate didn’t expect Sturges to respond. He’d seen shell-shocked people during the war the first time, and this one wasn’t any different.

“We’re gonna be alright. I’m gonna find Tar and get him back for what he did.”

Sturges idly messed around with the tape.

“Where’s Warren.” he asked hoarsely.

“He… He said he’s never coming back.” Maybe it wasn’t the best thing to say, but he didn’t really have a clue what else to say. “He doesn’t want this to happen to us again.”

The letter on the tape was short. a simple, ‘Thank you for everything Sturges. ❤Warren’.

“You didn’t bring him back…”

“He didn’t want to come back. I tried. I really did.”

“I never got to tell him.” he said quietly. “Always running and running…….”

“He said he loves you.” Nate said softly. “But I think you knew that already.”

Sturges sighed deeply. Put his head in his hands. Wept.

Nate sat by him, comforting him while he had the time.


	5. found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nate finds warren

Warren was dead.

In his shack.

A holotape was on the ground. Labelled For Sturges.

So much Nuka Cola stuff. Nate remembered how excited Warren got when he found out Nate got rid of the gangs and turned the power back on. He had so much junk food and souvenirs to bring back to Sturges.

And here was another holotape. For Nate.

The other ones laying around were things like ‘Sturges can’t fish pt 1’ and 'Donut shop Jingle’.

He put the holotape with his name on it in and pressed play. This poor guy.

'I decided to do it here.’ he sounded exhausted. Maybe a little high. 'I never really said thank you for putting up with me. And I never ever thought I’d be a real minuteman. You’re… one of the best people I’ve ever met, man. Really.’

He lay Warren on his bed. Made note of the toy sloth in the corner.

'Uh… Just thank you. You turned my life around for the better. I’m just sorry I couldn’t keep it up.’ Warren took a deep breath. 'If you’re listening, anyway… I’m sorry. For having to put up with me. My stealing, my attitude, my… everything. I thought of you as a really great guy. Always fighting for what’s right. Keep on making the commonwealth the best it can be… I’m so… so lucky that I got to meet you. Thank you for everything, man. I have a holotape for the handyman, too. If it’s not stolen, I’d be grateful if you gave it to him. I know you like to play every holotape you see, so you can do it to any of them. I don’t care. I’m dead.’ Warren laughed.

Nate touched his cold hand. Scarred.

He wanted him to wake up. Stimpacks were worthless, but he wanted to hope and pray they could bring someone back.

'I just don’t want what happened with Tar to happen again. I… I can’t live with it. I’m always running away. And, well, this will be the last time I run away. I can see… everything they did to Sanctuary. All this hard work. All the lives. Destroyed. I don’t want it to happen again. So it’s for the best… I’m gonna miss you guys.’

What was that in the puddle of death on the floor?

'You and Sturges the most.’

A synth component.

'Catch you on the flipside, Nate.’

The tape ended. The house was silent again.

The sunset cast such lovely light on the water. Warren’s caught and now rotten fish were in a bucket on the makeshift dock. Empty Nuka bottles. Beer bottles. Half eaten Fancy Lads.

Rigor mortis had set in. But he had to wrap him up. Change his clothes.

Where would he bury him?

Nate swallowed hard.

How would he tell Sturges? Especially after how he’d brightened up once Nate told him he was gonna look for him?

Why did he have to fucking kill himself?

“You fucking jackass.” Nate said through clenched teeth. “So much for that fucking beach vacation. So much for fucking fixing the commonwealth together.” he pulled his sleeping bag and blanket out and carefully wrapped him in it, but it was awfully hard to see through the tears.

But now what would he do? Bring him to the new settlement just to bury him there? He couldn’t bury him in Sanctuary. His ghost would probably kill him.

So he sat there for hours.

It got harder to think the more Warren’s favorite songs came through Diamond City radio.

Midnight came and he still couldn’t stand.


	6. pipboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nate talks to sturges

Nate’s back. Nobody was sure what to expect. If Warren didn’t want to be found, he probably wouldn’t be. Or maybe they were gonna meet up somewhere. But it had been a few days so… It was likely Nate was back for some supplies.

  
But he was looking for Sturges. And his eyes were red and he seemed even worse off.

  
Sturges, of course, had finally started eating again. He began to busy himself with fixing things up. And with that information, Nate was hesitant.

  
“Preston… Warren’s dead.” Nate whispered, voice cracking. He swallowed hard.

  
Preston gave him an apologetic look. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry, General.”

  
“It’s not your fault…” Nate sighed. “I… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to tell him.”

  
Preston looked over at Sturges. He was talking with a farmer, whos hoe had kept breaking.

  
“I… I don’t know either. I know they were close, and one thing after the other like this…”

  
Nate sighed heavily and massaged his temples. Wiped his damn eyes. Preston held his shoulder tightly.

  
“He was really doing his best. Warren. I never met someone so excited to be a Minuteman, but awfully stubborn about it too. He had a lot of character. I’m… I’m gonna miss him.”

  
“Me too…”

  
Nate turned around and leaned led Preston a little ways south.

  
There was Warren’s body. Wrapped up.

  
It all felt too real.

  
“I don’t know where to bury him. He loved the water, but I don’t want him to be mirelurk food. And… I want to give Sturges a place where he can mourn.”

  
Preston sighed and looked around. “I feel like that’s something you and Sturges would know more about. I know they’d go around the lakes by Sanctuary and look up at the stars. Or to his shack.”

  
“… Thank you, Preston. Don’t tell Sturges, please. Or anyone else. I… have to be careful about this.”

  
“I understand, general.” he took a deep breath and placed a hand gently on the wrapped up body. Sighed again. Then got up. “If you need to talk, you know where to find me.”

  
“Thanks again.”

  
So he sat with the body for a third day.

  
+

  
It wasn’t until he’d heard Sturges’ voice when he realised how close he was to the settlement. Like, he wasn’t far at all. Sturges had brought a fishing pole near the lake and cast it out. He seemed distant, and also brought himself some food. A nuka cherry, some vegetables, and parts of a gun he was fixing. Huh. Warren taught him well.

  
He’d probably give Sturges the stuffed sloth as a memento.

  
His chest felt tight.

  
It was better to bite the bullet.

  
He got up and walked to Sturges, glad they were alone. Sat next to him.

  
“Morning, general.” Sturges said. He was tired. Better than he was last week, though.

  
“Morning, Sturges.” Nate said. His eyes were tearing up already. “How are you feeling?”

  
“Still pretty shaken up, to be honest. I know we can bounce back from this, but everything was just so… Scary.” he sighed. “Still can’t sleep. I wanna come with you next time you leave.”

  
Oh.

  
“… You still need to be light on your legs.” he’d heard the doctor telling Sturges to sit down if he was gonna do anything.

  
“I wanna find him.”

  
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

  
“Warren?”

  
“Yeah.” Sturges’ shaking sigh made Nate need to get up. He had no idea how to put this lightly. “Me n him… We were like two different sides of the same coin. I wanna let him know that… It’s okay.”

  
Nate pulled the holotape out of his pocket.

Took off his pipboy.

  
“Itchy?” Sturges chuckled. “Always wondered how you two and the other vault dwellers kept those things on all the time.”

  
“He left this for you.” Nate’s voice was… odd. he couldn’t even place it. “The holotape.”

  
“Left it for me?” He knew Sturges was thinking of it being in a cache or something.

  
‘Hey Sturges. Nate told me you’re alive. I’ve never been more happy to hear that. And he told me you forgave me. And… That means so much to me. After everything that happened… After those people came there and destroyed your home as some sick 'take that’ to me… You still want me to come back? And put you guys in danger?’ Warren laughed. 'I love you too much.’ his voice was soft. Nate had very rarely heard that voice himself.

  
Sturges held on to the pipboy tightly.

  
'I… I hope you aren’t the one to find me, though.’

  
Sturges’ eyes went wide.

  
'If you’re listening… then I’m dead. Now don’t start the water works.’

  
Nate held Sturges’ shaking shoulders tight.

  
'I love you. I meant every word I said to you. And when I said I would die if it meant keeping you safe… I meant it. Tar is a bastard. I’m not gonna risk him ruining everything you guys have again.’

  
“No… no…”

  
'You’re easily my most favorite person. Ever. Nate second. Sorry Nate. I’m so thankful to have met you both.’ Warren sighed. 'Someone like me never ever deserved someone like you. But I’m… I’m so happy that we were what we were. I was waking up in the morning and eating breakfast with someone… with someone I loved. I knew you were too good for me. Handsome, smart, good with his hands, shitty enough at modding to let me teach him…’ Warren said softly.

  
Sturges was frozen.

  
'I love you. I really, really mean it. And because of that, I can’t just run away. They’ll just keep destroying everything because of me. So this is my final time running.’ he sniffed. 'I–I hope you won’t be too sad. Every minute I spent with you is a moment I hope I can relive in… whatever afterlife i go to. And I’m sorry for everything I put you through. Whatever you guys find in my shack, you can have. Guns, ammo, snacks, knickknacks… Whatever. Keep it.’

  
Nate wiped his eyes.

  
'I love you, Sturges. I hope we can meet again in a different life. And goodbye.’

  
The tape ended.


	7. pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sturges is upset for some reason

Sturges wanted to look at him. Nate didn’t like unwrapping him. But he did. And Sturges began wailing. Cursing. Weeping. Why did you do it? Why did you leave me? I was supposed to be your home. Why? Why why why why why why why??

“I’ll never see him smile again… We… we used to sing Uranium Fever together… And Atom Bomb Baby…” he quaked. “Instead of Mighty Mighty Man, he-He’d sing Handy man…” He couldn’t look anymore.

Warren was decomposing.

Nate held Sturges tight, letting him weep and mourn for however long he needed to.

“Warren… Jun… Quincy, Sanctuary, this isn’t fucking fair!” he shouted. “Why? Why? Why can’t… Why? After everything we did– we destroyed the goddamn institute!! We had everything going for us! And this… this… He…” he let out a miserable sound and began weeping again.

“I’m so sorry, Sturges. I… miss him too. I gathered his things, they’re all in a chest at my house. His pipboy, too.” Nate sighed heavily.

“Nate… I’ll never get to hear him sing along to songs again… I’ll… I’ll never… I’ll never get to see his smile again. Oh my god…”

“It hurts pretty bad.” Nate wiped his eyes and swallowed hard. “I didn’t know you two were together. I know he was totally in love with you, but… I didn’t know all that.”

“He knew if anyone found out we were more than buds, the folks in Sanctuary’d scorn me. So we were keepin’ it on the low down until things cooled down.” he sighed. Cursed and cursed and cursed again.

They got up. Sturges carried Warren’s body off somewhere. Nate followed, then watched as Sturges sat it down near the river, far from everyone else.

“Do you need some time alone?” Nate asked quietly.

“Yeah. I gotta lotta questions for this idiot. Like where he wants to be buried. And why he would leave me like this.” Sturges replayed the holotape. Nearly breaking down when he heard Warren’s voice.

“Alright Sturges. I’m happy to talk with you when you’re ready.”

“T-thanks, boss… Uh. You might need your pipboy.” he paused it and took the holotape out.

“And… He’s going to decompose soon. It’s gonna get really bad. So when you find a place for him, come get me.”

“I will.”


	8. others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> outside looking in

No one had seen him all day.

It was unusual. When he wasn’t in Sanctuary he was either in Warren’s shack or at Red Rocket.

  
He wasn’t there. Not even Mama Murphy knew where he went. All she said was that he needed time alone.

  
His time alone lasted two weeks. And two weeks without him was two weeks of this odd… emptiness. And when he came back, his smile was wrong. Pained. And he wasn’t back with that raider.

  
So something must’ve happened.

  
Preston came up to him immediately. He pulled him into Sturges’ house and talked to him about something. A few hours later, Sturges was out and working furiously on the things he deemed not fixed enough. He seemed to work all day. He only said ‘hello’s and well wishes to those who came up to him. He didn’t look anyone in the face.

  
He worked so much and ate so little. A settler asked what was wrong and offered him food, but Sturges avoided the question and denied the food.

  
A few days later, Sturges was sitting near Warren’s shack. Nate and Hancock had arrived and were talking to him for a while before he broke down.

  
Oh.

  
The most optimistic guy in Sanctuary, who lifted so many spirits, who did his best for everyone, was weeping.

  
What the hell happened?


End file.
